Dealing compassionately with aging parents

Mr Karim is sipping his tea. Nowadays even his favourite tea seems tasteless. Tea usually tastes better when you have it accompanying your favourite person. A lonely soul hardly gets the taste of anything. While devouring his tea he is thinking about his 68 year-old life trajectories.

With a sigh he looks at his old family photo where a joyous moment of his life and family members were captured perfectly. His two sons and wife don't live with him now. The 2700 sq. ft. lavish apartment of Gulshan has only silence, sometimes filled with his echo. He has 90 year-old bedridden paralyzed mother with him who hardly says anything, only stares at him. Two house-helps come and go. He sometimes talks to himself by eye contacting his own reflection on the mirror.

His life was never supposed to be like this. He had 34 years of successful bureaucratic journey where he poured all his dedication and hard work. He taught his sons to have a life like him--climbing to the highest stairs and never looking back. Like obedient sons they did the same, achieved a successful life and got permanent residence in the "land of opportunities" and indeed never looked back.  Their nonchalant attitude towards their responsibilities for their own parents is not bringing any good. But, aren't their parents responsible for this to some extent? 

Mr. Karim opened the newspaper. Going through the headlines, his eyes got stuck at a report, "Renowned Professor 'X' found dead at his own residence". The news reads, "The former professor used to live alone in his own flat as his only daughter and wife live in the USA."Suddenly, an unknown fear grips Karim, his eyes become wet. He questions to his conscience, "Am I going to face the same fate? An unwanted adios from this life without getting the warmth from beloved ones?"

This is quite a known phenomenon of our country. The educated middle class or upper middle class people teach their offspring to have a successful life, constantly having new feather in the crown. However, they forget to teach that apart from all the worldly achievement, there should be place in their heart where they will nurture love for their very own people.  Perhaps these middle class parents don't even realize what might be their utmost need when they will be reaching their most tender age. Our need changes over time, like priorities. 

In our country an unhealthy competition is prevalent among parents. That is comparing their kids with others' and rearing them like a machine. Some parents want their children to be money making machines. Some parents want them to be like robots with no compassion, humanity and a dictator of their own wishes while hardly prioritising other people. However, these parents eventually fall into their own traps, ending up with a lonely life.

Constantly following the western culture has become pervasive in this subcontinent. But this only brings utter frustration in our life. Aisha Akhter, a 79 year-old woman living in  old age home says, " My son and daughter have a respectful lucrative career, both of them are living in the USA, in fact it was my decision to send them to US for pursuing better career. But, I was totally ignorant that one day they might abandon if I don't accompany them. Never thought this old age home would be my shelter. I taught them to be self reliant, not selfish, thus I regret now."

In recent time this is becoming a common picture of this metropolis. These types of stories are quite familiar in our surroundings. Now the million dollar question is, what is the point of having a depressed life at old age? This age deserves sheer care from their loved ones as the elderly faces various health complexities. In other words, they become childlike needing attention constantly. Isn't it the children's responsibility to provide them with love, care and attention like the parents cared for them at their most critical age?

Few days ago, renowned actress Kabori passed away. In an interview, she expressed her frustration about how she was deprived from the love she wanted, "No one ever loved me but everyone liked me." All her success seemed very little when she found no one to stay beside her, holding hand, gossiping and sharing memories while having tea. 

The more we improve our standard of living, the more lonely we become. But, whether alone or with others, no one should give up hope to live better. In developed countries to deal with the loneliness of old age some service providers offer assistance in case of need. Though Bangladesh is on its way to becoming a high-income economy, we should consider this solution as well. Because, the hands that help are holier than any other.

It is a matter of joy that, Senior Citizen Hospital is now providing such a service in Bangladesh. Actually, this hospital is specially designed for senior citizens for the treatment of various diseases. It provides the most advanced super-specialty healthcare services in a comfortable, accessible and patient-centric environment. It also introducing space age technology, such as Robotic Rehabilitation, Biofeedback therapy, Virtual Reality (VR) based treatment, Artificial Intelligence (AI) based health assessment & treatment protocols, which are quite new in Bangladesh. Moreover, Senior Citizens can also receive a discount according to their age in this hospital.

Science and technology gives us more speed. But we can't leave the old one behind. They require more care. And we should make it available to them.