Should I tell my friend her partner is cheating on her?
Skip to main content
  • Home
  • Economy
    • Aviation
    • Bazaar
    • Budget
    • Industry
    • NBR
    • RMG
    • Corporates
  • Stocks
  • Analysis
  • World+Biz
  • Sports
  • Features
    • Book Review
    • Brands
    • Earth
    • Explorer
    • Fact Check
    • Family
    • Food
    • Game Reviews
    • Good Practices
    • Habitat
    • Humour
    • In Focus
    • Luxury
    • Mode
    • Panorama
    • Pursuit
    • Wealth
    • Wellbeing
    • Wheels
  • Epaper
  • More
    • Subscribe
    • Videos
    • Thoughts
    • Splash
    • Bangladesh
    • Supplement
    • Infograph
    • Archive
    • COVID-19
    • Games
    • Long Read
    • Interviews
    • Offbeat
    • Podcast
    • Quiz
    • Tech
    • Trial By Trivia
    • Magazine
  • বাংলা
The Business Standard

Thursday
February 02, 2023

Sign In
Subscribe
  • Home
  • Economy
    • Aviation
    • Bazaar
    • Budget
    • Industry
    • NBR
    • RMG
    • Corporates
  • Stocks
  • Analysis
  • World+Biz
  • Sports
  • Features
    • Book Review
    • Brands
    • Earth
    • Explorer
    • Fact Check
    • Family
    • Food
    • Game Reviews
    • Good Practices
    • Habitat
    • Humour
    • In Focus
    • Luxury
    • Mode
    • Panorama
    • Pursuit
    • Wealth
    • Wellbeing
    • Wheels
  • Epaper
  • More
    • Subscribe
    • Videos
    • Thoughts
    • Splash
    • Bangladesh
    • Supplement
    • Infograph
    • Archive
    • COVID-19
    • Games
    • Long Read
    • Interviews
    • Offbeat
    • Podcast
    • Quiz
    • Tech
    • Trial By Trivia
    • Magazine
  • বাংলা
THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 02, 2023
Should I tell my friend her partner is cheating on her?

Family

Ummay Marzan Jui
05 March, 2020, 12:55 pm
Last modified: 05 March, 2020, 04:22 pm

Related News

  • Youth posing as actor, director arrested for cheating people
  • Elon Musk reportedly had an affair with Google co-founder Sergey Brin’s wife
  • The charm, the strangers and human connections: The lost art of pen friendships
  • Can your coworker be your closest friend?
  • These animals spend their lives with same partner

Should I tell my friend her partner is cheating on her?

What to do when you find out one of your friends is cheating on their partner? Do you speak up about it? Or do you keep quiet and hope for the best?

Ummay Marzan Jui
05 March, 2020, 12:55 pm
Last modified: 05 March, 2020, 04:22 pm
When it comes telling your friend about their partner’s infidelity, your moral compass can be shaken. Photo: Noor-a-Alam
When it comes telling your friend about their partner’s infidelity, your moral compass can be shaken. Photo: Noor-a-Alam

Tushi, a student of a private university, has known both Farhana and Mithila for a while. Farhana confided to Tushi that she was in a relationship with her boyfriend Prabal (not his real name) for the last five years. So imagine Tushi's surprise when one fine day Mithila also reintroduces Prabal as her boyfriend! 
This stunning incident promptly put Tushi in a dilemma. What should be done in such a situation? Should she talk to Mithila? Should she say something to Farhana? Would it be better to confront Prabal? Or would it be best to just keep mum?
Since it seemed that Farhana was being cheated on, she thought it would be better to talk to her first. But would Farhana trust Tushi or her relationship of five years? If she manages to convince Farhana, would it affect the friendship between Farhana and Tushi? Would Tushi be seen as the villain? 
Does this situation seem familiar? It isn't uncommon. In our society, we have all witnessed or at the very least heard about an incident like this.

A multitude of opinions
Some people find themselves in Tushi's place, feeling the obligation to inform the affected person of their partner's cheating, yet feel as if it would be overstepping their boundaries.
Different people have different opinions about this. Farzana Sultana Nila, a clinical psychologist of the Center for Mental Health & Care, Bangladesh, (CMHC, B) says: "Things can work in two ways: either talking with the person who is cheating and making him or her aware of the consequences or making the victim aware of the symptoms, generally, to find out their partner is cheating and taking the right decision," she says. "In most of the cases, victims later confess that they have overlooked all the red flags out of love."

Farhana Sharmin, an entrepreneur, commented, "Such situations are very sensitive. When I came to learn that my friend's husband was cheating with her I was shocked, as they seem like a perfect couple to an outsider."
"In the beginning, I was adamant in the decision that I was going to let her know that her husband was being unfaithful. However, I detected some signs and it seemed to me that she was aware of the situation, and she was keeping up the charade of a happy marriage just to appease her family and society. Also, I felt she might not like an outsider to meddle in her personal affairs," she continued.

"So, I stayed silent for the sake of our friendship. Later, I made sure that my husband does not socialize with her husband in person, as I fear he would negatively influence my husband too. I still invite them over to my home, but only as a couple and never him alone."

Photo: Noor-a-Alam
Photo: Noor-a-Alam

As every relationship has its own circumstances, understanding and space, the decision is going to be different for everyone. 
Syed Yeasef Akbar, a marketing professional, says, "Although I have not faced such a situation, personally I would prefer not to be the center of the argument. So, I would be silent and let time run its course. At some point, the cheated partner is going to find the truth and take steps that are best for their relationship."

Mahde Hasan, a filmmaker, believes that a situation like this is not bad.
"Monogamy simply is a social structure. Growing feelings for someone, even after being committed to another, is not a crime. We are human and we grow emotions. So, I do not find anything bad in this, until my actions are hurting someone else," he explained.
Once, Mahde found that his friend Bikash (not his real name) had cheated on his partner. Mahde decided to talk to Bikash, hoping that it would help him understand the situation and the conversation might also help Bikash to achieve clarity about what he's doing.
"Though things do not always work according to plan, this experience has made me reach some important realisations in my own marriage, and I have also gained better insight on how relationships work in this society," says Mahde.

The best action
After finding out they're being cheated on, the victim goes through shock and become emotionally vulnerable. In this stage, the impulse to take revenge, blaming the other, feeling insecure and even falling into denial is common. Helping them to accept the situation can work as a healer for this. So, as a friend, one should listen to them wholeheartedly without making any comment or judging, says Nila.

Features / Top News

partner / cheating / friend

Comments

While most comments will be posted if they are on-topic and not abusive, moderation decisions are subjective. Published comments are readers’ own views and The Business Standard does not endorse any of the readers’ comments.

Top Stories

  • File photo
    Another shock for consumers as LPG price hiked to Tk1,498 per 12 kg cylinder
  • The by-polls to six constituencies witness a low turnout on 1 February. This picture was taken from a polling centre at Brahmanbaria-2 by-polls. Photo: TBS
    Why has the ‘little man’ gone missing in elections?
  • Indian billionaire Gautam Adani speaks during an inauguration ceremony after the Adani Group completed the purchase of Haifa Port earlier in January 2023, in Haifa port, Israel January 31, 2023. REUTERS/Amir Cohen
    Adani's market losses top $100 bln as shelved share sale spooks investors

MOST VIEWED

  • Take everybody to work every day. Photo: Tiffany Hagler-Geard/Bloomberg
    In a pandemic, every day is bring-your-child-to-work day
  • Photo: Collected
    The compromised post-pandemic generation
  • Find contentment with your family while staying home
    Find contentment with your family while staying home
  • ‘To be a mom you need to be a superwoman’
    ‘To be a mom you need to be a superwoman’
  • A bid for the perfect match 
    A bid for the perfect match 
  • Parenting: A predicament during the pandemic
    Parenting: A predicament during the pandemic

Related News

  • Youth posing as actor, director arrested for cheating people
  • Elon Musk reportedly had an affair with Google co-founder Sergey Brin’s wife
  • The charm, the strangers and human connections: The lost art of pen friendships
  • Can your coworker be your closest friend?
  • These animals spend their lives with same partner

Features

Six Jeep Wranglers and a special XJ Jeep Cherokee set out into the depths of Lalakhal, Sylhet for an experience of a lifetime. Photo: Ahbaar Mohammad

Jeep Life Bangladesh: A club for Jeep owners to harness the power of their vehicles

6h | Wheels
While the Padma bridge in operation is changing the lives of millions in the south for the better, passenger rush to Shimulia ghat died down. Photo: Masum Billah

How are the Shimulia ghat businesses faring after Padma bridge?

8h | Panorama
After so many investments going embarrassingly wrong, as was the case with Sam Bankman-Fried, perhaps tech investors’ preference for less experience will wane. Photo: Bloomberg

Are you the next Steve Jobs? Good luck raising money in 2023

8h | Panorama
An elderly couple's lonely battle to save Dhaka's trees

An elderly couple's lonely battle to save Dhaka's trees

1d | Panorama

More Videos from TBS

Is Hathurusingha the most successful coach of Bangladesh?

Is Hathurusingha the most successful coach of Bangladesh?

21h | TBS SPORTS
Semiconductor, pharma should get more attention

Semiconductor, pharma should get more attention

23h | TBS Round Table
Dhali Al Mamun’s art depicts colonial impact

Dhali Al Mamun’s art depicts colonial impact

22h | TBS Stories
Jewel's humanitarian store

Jewel's humanitarian store

20h | TBS Stories

Most Read

1
Bapex calls candidates for job test 9 years after advert!
Bangladesh

Bapex calls candidates for job test 9 years after advert!

2
Leepu realised his love for cars from a young age and for the last 40 years, he has transformed, designed and customised hundreds of cars. Photo: Collected
Panorama

'I am not crazy about cars anymore': Nizamuddin Awlia Leepu

3
Photo: Collected
Energy

8 Ctg power plants out of production

4
The International Monetary Fund (IMF) logo is seen outside the headquarters building in Washington, U.S., September 4, 2018. REUTERS/Yuri Gripas/File Photo
Economy

IMF approves $4.7 billion loan for Bangladesh, calls for ambitious reforms

5
Photo: Collected
Court

Japanese mother gets guardianship of daughters, free to leave country

6
Fund cut as Dhaka's fast-track transit projects on slow spending lane
Infrastructure

Fund cut as Dhaka's fast-track transit projects on slow spending lane

EMAIL US
[email protected]
FOLLOW US
WHATSAPP
+880 1847416158
The Business Standard
  • About Us
  • Contact us
  • Sitemap
  • Privacy Policy
  • Comment Policy
Copyright © 2023
The Business Standard All rights reserved
Technical Partner: RSI Lab

Contact Us

The Business Standard

Main Office -4/A, Eskaton Garden, Dhaka- 1000

Phone: +8801847 416158 - 59

Send Opinion articles to - [email protected]

For advertisement- [email protected]