What to do if you sense your teacher may be sexually harassing you?

Did you ever have a teacher who would praise you to the gods? Always validate your every move, and even sing your praises to other kids in class?

He would seem like a good sport, even a role model, and you would never suspect that you've been noticed.

You'd never suspect his perversion.

But there are those twitches you get when he'd come too close or act too friendly or want you to stay back after class just to be alone with you.

Teachers are meant to be a support system, not a harasser.

In subtle ways, they can destroy that trust.

In our culture, we hold teachers in the highest of regards, not just because of their academic background, but because we are taught that our teachers are second to our parents.

Imagine that person breaking your trust.

With the latest news of Murad Hossain Sarkar, a math teacher at Viqarunnisa Noon School and College, being sent to jail over sexually harassing students, the issue has once again come to the forefront.

But it is not a new one.

For anyone who has experienced such heinous and pedophilic behaviour, you should know, unfortunately, you are not the only one.

It may feel extremely difficult to raise a voice against such people.

But it is of utmost importance that you do. To save yourself from that trauma, and perhaps another one just like you.

Raise your voice.

Who do you turn to?

First of all, it's important to know that it doesn't matter if your teacher's intention was not to harass you. If you felt, even the slightest bit, uncomfortable, it does not matter, I repeat, what their intention was.

How you felt matters most, above all.

You can address the harasser, if you feel comfortable doing so.

The individual may not realise that their actions meet the definition of child sexual harassment or sexual hazing, or doesn't realise that it bothers you.

Telling the person to stop may be enough to resolve the problem and put an end to inappropriate behaviour.

It's easier to turn to a trusted friend, of course.

You must also loop in your class teacher. Report the incident to any teacher or guidance counsellor at your school without delay.

And yes, as hard as it may be, do tell your parents or a trusted adult outside of school.

Your mom or your dad are usually the first to want to protect you.

Involving school authorities is the next step.

Don't worry about your name being outed.

If you want this information to be confidential, request your parents to mention that.

You can also lodge a complaint anonymously.

Or, file an official complaint.

In the event that school administrators fail to take your report seriously or remedy the situation, file a complaint with the higher ups to seek additional help.

They can investigate the situation and take remedial action as necessary.

Bear in mind though, these steps of confiding in someone may not always work. There is a culture of victim-shaming we must be prepared for. But at the same time, it is yours to report.

No matter what you do, do not hold that information in.

It puts you, and others, at risk at the hands of a potential rapist – considering the extremes.

What can school authorities do?

Anonymous complaint boxes for reporting sexual harassment need to be placed outside of every member of the school management.

As a student of North South University, I have seen a box as such outside the English department chairman's room and other rooms on the faculty floor.

Honestly, it gave me a sense of relief and I wished such a measure had been taken back in my school days.

Aside from that, upon receiving any complaint, school authorities must investigate to the core.

Never, for even one second, doubt a student or question them. This would make a young child second guess herself/ himself.

Listen, pay attention, probe, and counsel.

School authorities must offer counselling to any student who has ever experienced such behaviour.

This is such an issue, if not dealt with care, that it might potentially scar a child forever, leading them into distrust or intimacy issues in future relationships.

As adults responsible for children, school authorities must take these matters of utmost sensitivity seriously.

Address your own mental state

For instance, the movie "Speak" starring Kristen Stewart was a jarring yet great example of PTSD. For someone who was assaulted at an early age, they might potentially become muted and unable to voice themselves like a regular individual.

You have to remember, this stuff takes a toll on you. So you better get the help you need.

Sexual harassment is one of the most difficult challenges I have personally faced early on. At the age of 15, one of my teachers had broken my trust and nearly shattered my confidence. It started with praises on a good essay I wrote, or him asking me to stay back after class, or him shooting compliments at me or trying to get really close to me. The better I did in class, the more involved he would try to get with me.

One autumn day, I was alone in class with him and he crossed the line with me, verbally and physically. And I had no one to turn to. Everyone else worshipped him. I finally saw him for what he was and it exceedingly messed with my head. One day, I told my mother I did not want to do his classes anymore. That's all I could say.

It took a lot to stop attending his classes and never respond to his unending calls. At times, this very incident haunts me to this day. I wish I could have taken stronger action against him.

Experiencing any form of sexual harassment, abuse, violence, discrimination or bullying at your school can have a major effect on your mental health.

Do not keep your feelings inside. Talk to a trusted friend, family member, counsellor or therapist about the incident and how it made you feel.

There are healthy coping mechanisms to help you process what happened and move forward.

If you don't feel comfortable talking to someone in person, there are professionals who can help. Seek them out.

What can you do as a bystander?

If you have ever been in a position where you witnessed a friend or a classmate get sexually harassed, you must take steps to intervene.

Firstly, speak out on their behalf.

You can go with the victim to report the incident to an adult or a teacher.

Giving your version of events as a witness can support the victim's claims and provide a better view for the adults in taking action against the harasser.

If you can and you must, do offer your support to the victim. At times like this, that's more comforting than you realise.