Breakup is quite a common fact of life. It is undoubtedly traumatic for the parties involved, yet so many people ignore to take care of themselves after this harrowing experience! Breakups can be deeply hurtful and damaging for an individual, so it is necessary to give yourself time and care to heal the wound. Let's take a look at some breakup remedies recommended by Jean Kim, M.D.
Jean is a psychiatrist and an assistant professor of clinical psychiatry at George Washington University. In her opinion, self-care is crucial after a breakup. The metaphors of healing a wound are quite apt in the recovery process of a breakup, given that the psychical pain is severe, with distinct stages of healing afterward. They are also similar to the famous Kubler-Ross stages of grief — denial, bargaining, anger, depression, and acceptance.
Sounds bleak huh? The good news is, most people heal from breakup, though it takes time and effort. A research from Binghamton University and University College London even says women tend to be more negatively affected by breakups, reporting higher levels of both physical and emotional pain. However, they tend to recover more fully and come out emotionally stronger. Men, on the other hand, never recover fully—they simply move on.
Everyone grieves in their own way and should do what feels best for them, but many find the following steps to be helpful:
Let your emotions out
Do not keep your emotions bottled in. Let it out, cry and scream (preferably someplace private). Your heart will feel much lighter.
Listen to sad music
You might think this will make you sadder. Actually it normalises the grief you are feeling so that you know you're not alone.
Find supportive people
For some people, talking to friends and family members might help, while for others a therapist might be a better solution. This will help you in making future relationships happier and healthier.
Read books about breakups
How do you feel when the protagonist of a high fantasy novel does something that you can relate to? Amazing, right? Similarly, reading books about breakups that describe what you're going through can be a healing experience.
Maintain your routine
Some people do whimsical things after a breakup, like changing diet, altering sleep schedule, or even taking a different shift at work. It is crucial to stick to your regular routine after a breakup. Going through the motions will actually help in the healing process.
Treat yourself better
Give yourself a treat. Getting a haircut or eating a whole box of ice-cream might seem like cliché things to do after a breakup. But if they make you feel good, go ahead! Anything that boosts your sense of yourself as someone worthy of comfort and pride.
Meet new people
No, we're not advising that you start dating right away. Rebounds are a bad idea, after all. It usually takes people three to six months to get back into the mingle scene. However, there's no harm in making friends and networking. Isolating yourself would do more harm than good.
One of the worst outcomes of a breakup is an on-again, off-again, ambiguous limbo relationship, which almost always leads to worsening heartache. So before you get into another relationship, do make sure you know your boundaries.