The world economy is perhaps feeling the same way as you do when you appear for a class quiz unprepared. You blame yourself for binge watching The Good Life (worth a D grade, really) on Netflix the night before, the same way authorities are now blaming each other (and bats) for spreading the coronavirus.
But if we were to make a list, we would find that the economy is so bad that:
Keya Ferdousi stopped making noodle dishes (But we heard she is investing on a cook book called "How to make noodles from water, air and sheer perseverance").
Gamblers are playing only Ludo Star.
The Kardashians are planning their next vacation on St Martin's Island and not Barbados.
ISIS is only fighting in PUBG.
A lot of people could cook only 20 dishes on Pohela Baishakh.
Top Gear is reviewing the latest model of our CNG auto-rickshaws.
Residents of Baridhara and Gulshan have to do with no A/C in their verandas, bathrooms and kitchens. I heard one of them had to sell off his black Rolls Royce. Now he only owns a Lamborghini.
Bela Bose had to marry her boyfriend.
Prince Oosa Bin Shamshed had to replace the diamonds on his shoes with Swarovski crystals.
Bappi Lahihiri now wears only 5 kilos of gold jewelleries.
Madame Tussauds museum is selling scented candles (hand crafted and vegan) now.
A pick-up truck full of Europeans was caught sneaking into Noakhali.
The gate keeper asked me to send him my CV.
Lastly, I got so depressed thinking about the economic uncertainties that when I called a doctor for advice, he prescribed me "paracetamol dui bela (two times)".
To all the Debbie Downers out there, cheer up, because the economy is actually not as bad as it seems on social media. If they were, you would not still be reading this piece, would you?