The end of innocence in the valley
Skip to main content
  • Home
  • Economy
    • Aviation
    • Bazaar
    • Budget
    • Industry
    • NBR
    • RMG
    • Corporates
  • Stocks
  • Analysis
  • World+Biz
  • Sports
  • Features
    • Book Review
    • Brands
    • Earth
    • Explorer
    • Fact Check
    • Family
    • Food
    • Game Reviews
    • Good Practices
    • Habitat
    • Humour
    • In Focus
    • Luxury
    • Mode
    • Panorama
    • Pursuit
    • Wealth
    • Wellbeing
    • Wheels
  • Epaper
  • More
    • Subscribe
    • Videos
    • Thoughts
    • Splash
    • Bangladesh
    • Supplement
    • Infograph
    • Archive
    • COVID-19
    • Games
    • Long Read
    • Interviews
    • Offbeat
    • Podcast
    • Quiz
    • Tech
    • Trial By Trivia
    • Magazine
  • বাংলা
The Business Standard

Tuesday
February 07, 2023

Sign In
Subscribe
  • Home
  • Economy
    • Aviation
    • Bazaar
    • Budget
    • Industry
    • NBR
    • RMG
    • Corporates
  • Stocks
  • Analysis
  • World+Biz
  • Sports
  • Features
    • Book Review
    • Brands
    • Earth
    • Explorer
    • Fact Check
    • Family
    • Food
    • Game Reviews
    • Good Practices
    • Habitat
    • Humour
    • In Focus
    • Luxury
    • Mode
    • Panorama
    • Pursuit
    • Wealth
    • Wellbeing
    • Wheels
  • Epaper
  • More
    • Subscribe
    • Videos
    • Thoughts
    • Splash
    • Bangladesh
    • Supplement
    • Infograph
    • Archive
    • COVID-19
    • Games
    • Long Read
    • Interviews
    • Offbeat
    • Podcast
    • Quiz
    • Tech
    • Trial By Trivia
    • Magazine
  • বাংলা
TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 07, 2023
The end of innocence in the valley

World+Biz

LiveMint
10 August, 2019, 10:10 am
Last modified: 10 August, 2019, 10:35 am

Related News

  • Three civilians killed in terror attack in Jammu and Kashmir
  • 'Kashmiris viewed with deep suspicion': Mehbooba on J&K govt's 'unique ID' plan
  • Tourists mesmerised by Autumn's heavenly beauty of Kashmir
  • India objects to US diplomat's visit to Pakistan side of Kashmir
  • Beautification of Jammu and Kashmir's Dal Lake begun to attract more tourists 

The end of innocence in the valley

Prompted by the historic decision of 5 August, which altered the status of J&K, a Delhi-based doctor recounts a Kashmiri boyhood interrupted by strife and betrayal.

LiveMint
10 August, 2019, 10:10 am
Last modified: 10 August, 2019, 10:35 am
Kashmiri children on the banks of the Jhelum river in 2005/ LiveMint
Kashmiri children on the banks of the Jhelum river in 2005/ LiveMint

Ek lamhe mein simat aaya hai sadiyon ka safar

Zindagi tez, bohat tez, chali ho jaise.

(A journey over generations is over in a second.

Time can travel fast, very fast, it seems.)

These lines from the Hindi film Tum Bin were reverberating in my mind throughout Monday, 5 August. This often happens to me, each event bringing to mind a song or a line from a song.

In a matter of hours, I went from being a person of a special state, with a separate constitution, flag and privileges, to a person from a Union territory (UT). In one swoop, I was stripped of my uniqueness, as it were.

It was an assault. There was no way to contact people back home in Srinagar. There were no exceptions. No mobiles, no internet, no landlines, no radio, no cable. A complete communications block, with a strict curfew.

Agha Shahid Ali’s The Country Without A Post Office came to mind. “Look Shahid, we are a petty UT now," I spoke to Ali in my mind. “Stripped of even the last shreds of dignity. It’s good that you didn’t live to see this—you loved Kashmir too much."

I was 8 when the conflict started. I remember the time it hit me very clearly—when I realized things were not normal. It was evening and we were returning from one of our extended family trips to the popular weekend destination of Pahalgam. Papa was listening to the radio and he became very disturbed. A gloom seemed to descend in the car. I asked Papa about it. He said there had been a grenade attack somewhere, and now “haalaat gachan kharab" (the situation will turn bad).

And it did, though not immediately. The next thing I remember is a lot of soldiers. I used to imagine—and I was sure of this—that they would go back when winter came. How would they tolerate the snow? I was sure they would leave.

“Appaer kya halaat (how’s the situation there)?" one would ask of a person coming in from another place or over the landline phone.

I remember the huge pro-azadi processions in Srinagar. We used to climb over water storage tanks to watch them through the attic window. Did I want azadi, or Pakistan? No, I wanted to be with “progressive" India. An India which was secular and “free". I did not know exactly what it meant, but that is what I had heard and seen (mostly on TV) and I liked it.

Mile Sur Mera Tumhara. I still know it by heart. Ek Gilehari, Anek Gilehariyan .

Those were my anthems. They inspired me.

Then there was the overnight exodus of the Kashmiri Pandits. My mother didn’t sleep that night. She was very upset.

In the newspapers, deaths were reported every day. Some were killed by unidentified gunmen, some by militants, and others in the crossfire. Funny thing is, I thought crossfire meant bullets fired from a gun with a cross-shaped barrel.

There were long periods of enforced holidays from school. My cousins and I played chess and carrom. We couldn’t go to the street, you see, because of the curfew.

I took to gardening and fell in love with it. I loved watching things grow. I experimented with new varieties of fruits and vegetables. I wanted to be a scientist when I grew up.

I was a teenager with privilege in the 1990s. I could ignore a lot of things and still try to live as “normally as possible". But, some things couldn’t be ignored. Like the time a grenade went off in a car park right in front of my eyes, a few metres away. Or when there were “incidents of firing" right outside our house. Or when relatives were picked up by “unidentified gunmen" and disappeared for days together.

Our mother evolved a code of behaviour to ensure we were safe. I had to tell her where I was going when I could expect to come back, and she would say pudhrowmakh khodayas (I give your responsibility to God). If I was going to be late coming home, I was to call. No matter what. There were no exceptions.

I was still “Indian" but things didn’t seem right. Were the forces operating with impunity? What was AFSPA, the Armed Forces (Special Powers) Act? Was the 1987 assembly election rigged? These were difficult questions. One began to have doubts, but the idea of India still seemed the best course for Kashmir.

As I read more, I realized the gravity of the betrayals the state had witnessed and the betrayals of our politicians. Our innocence crumbled to dust. We clung on to hope. But then history repeats itself. It interrupts hope.

Living through constant conflict teaches you many things —patience, resilience, defiance. It teaches you to be wary of the government, of anyone in a position of authority. Every day is a new day, you tell yourself.

I arrived in Delhi and found that the Kashmiri Muslim, no matter how “Indian", is always a suspect, whatever the crime. The crime could be patriotism or a terror attack, the finger first points to you.

It hurts when you love Bollywood like it is life itself, and then some Bollywood actor comes on Twitter to demonize your community. You learn to channelize this anger to something else. You practise empathy as behaviour. It gives you solace too. You learn to identify more with the marginalized and oppressed.

How do we move on from here? Can there be closure after such casual cruelty, or will the wounds continue to fester? Where are our allies? Are we truly alone in this? I have no word from my parents in Srinagar yet. I hope my mother knows I am safe. Pudhrowmakh khodayas.

As told to Natasha Badhwar. The doctor does not wish to reveal his identity.

Top News

Jammu and Kashmir / Jammu-Kashmir / Article 370

Comments

While most comments will be posted if they are on-topic and not abusive, moderation decisions are subjective. Published comments are readers’ own views and The Business Standard does not endorse any of the readers’ comments.

Top Stories

  • A man stands in front of collapsed buildings following an earthquake in Kahramanmaras, Turkey February 6, 2023. Ihlas News Agency (IHA) via REUTERS ATTENTION EDITORS - THIS PICTURE WAS PROVIDED BY A THIRD PARTY. NO RESALES. NO ARCHIVES. TURKEY OUT. NO COMMERCIAL OR EDITORIAL SALES IN TURKEY.
    Deaths exceed 2,600 as catastrophic quakes ravage Turkey, Syria
  • 30% cos see double-digit growth even in hard times
    30% cos see double-digit growth even in hard times
  • Govt borrowing from commercial banks surges
    Govt borrowing from commercial banks surges

MOST VIEWED

  • A black smoke from a fire is seen at the Iskenderun port after an earthquake in Iskenderun, Turkey February 6, 2023. REUTERS/Ece Toksabay
    Large fire, plume of smoke at Turkey's Iskenderun port
  • A civil defence vehicle is seen near rubble, following an earthquake, in Aleppo, Syria, in this handout released by SANA on February 6, 2023. SANA/Handout via REUTERS
    Russia says 300 army personnel clearing debris in Syria
  • People wait their turn to get fuel at a petrol station, in Karachi, Pakistan June 2, 2022. Picture taken June 2, 2022. REUTERS/Akhtar Soomro/File Photo
    Pakistan, IMF grapple for consensus to unlock critical funding
  • File photo. Somalia soldiers and policemen look on as Hassan Hanafi, a former media officer for the Somali Islamist group al Shabaab, stands tied to a pole before his execution by shooting at close range on a field in General Kahiye Police Academy in Somalia's capital Mogadishu, on April 11, 2016. REUTERS/Ismail Taxta
    At least 34 killed in clashes in Somaliland - two doctors at public hospital
  • Syria hospital treating earthquake victims pleads for help
    Syria hospital treating earthquake victims pleads for help
  • How should you talk to ChatGPT? A user's guide
    How should you talk to ChatGPT? A user's guide

Related News

  • Three civilians killed in terror attack in Jammu and Kashmir
  • 'Kashmiris viewed with deep suspicion': Mehbooba on J&K govt's 'unique ID' plan
  • Tourists mesmerised by Autumn's heavenly beauty of Kashmir
  • India objects to US diplomat's visit to Pakistan side of Kashmir
  • Beautification of Jammu and Kashmir's Dal Lake begun to attract more tourists 

Features

Photo: Collected

Get your partner a lovely present this Valentine's Day

17h | Brands
Pottery Wheel Craft Kit: A creative outlet for little hands

Pottery Wheel Craft Kit: A creative outlet for little hands

17h | Brands
Say it with Colours

Say it with Colours

1d | Mode
Photo: Courtesy

From 'Made in Bangladesh' to 'Designed in Bangladesh'

1d | Panorama

More Videos from TBS

Who will survive? Adani or Hindenburg?

Who will survive? Adani or Hindenburg?

8h | TBS Stories
James Gunn’s 8-10-year plan for the DC Universe

James Gunn’s 8-10-year plan for the DC Universe

8h | TBS Entertainment
LC issues lead to severe shortage of surgical equipment

LC issues lead to severe shortage of surgical equipment

11h | TBS Insight
Stage plays are going on in the digital age

Stage plays are going on in the digital age

16h | TBS Stories

Most Read

1
Leepu realised his love for cars from a young age and for the last 40 years, he has transformed, designed and customised hundreds of cars. Photo: Collected
Panorama

'I am not crazy about cars anymore': Nizamuddin Awlia Leepu

2
The International Monetary Fund (IMF) logo is seen outside the headquarters building in Washington, U.S., September 4, 2018. REUTERS/Yuri Gripas/File Photo
Economy

IMF approves $4.7 billion loan for Bangladesh, calls for ambitious reforms

3
Belal Ahmed new acting chairman of SIBL
Banking

Belal Ahmed new acting chairman of SIBL

4
Fund cut as Dhaka's fast-track transit projects on slow spending lane
Infrastructure

Fund cut as Dhaka's fast-track transit projects on slow spending lane

5
Photo: Collected
Startups

ShopUp secures $30m debt financing to boost expansion, supply chain

6
Photo: Courtesy
Panorama

From 'Made in Bangladesh' to 'Designed in Bangladesh'

EMAIL US
[email protected]
FOLLOW US
WHATSAPP
+880 1847416158
The Business Standard
  • About Us
  • Contact us
  • Sitemap
  • Privacy Policy
  • Comment Policy
Copyright © 2023
The Business Standard All rights reserved
Technical Partner: RSI Lab

Contact Us

The Business Standard

Main Office -4/A, Eskaton Garden, Dhaka- 1000

Phone: +8801847 416158 - 59

Send Opinion articles to - [email protected]

For advertisement- [email protected]