I am passing the best time of my life

The honour that we have received in the Cannes Film Festival for our film Rehana Maryam Noor is unimaginable. 

I cannot express it in words. We are grateful to almighty Allah for that. What we have achieved so far is more than enough. If we get more, that will be a bonus. 

We are getting coverage from everywhere in the world media including Kolkata. They have been ecstatic about our film as their language is also Bangla.

A while ago I was talking with Indian newspaper Times of India. The reporter told me that I am the only actress in the sub-continent who has come to Cannes for acting in a film. 

Earlier, Nandita Das came here as a director with her film. Indian superstars Aishwarya Rai, Vidya Balan or Sonam Kapoor did not come here for their films. They came to represent their brands. 

From that perspective, what we have achieved is a huge honour. It is a historical event for Bangladeshi film. I think we will do a press conference for Bangladeshi media after coming back to the country.

I will give all the credit for the honour that I have received here to the director of the film Abdullah Mohammad Saad. He kept faith in me. 

Everyone here has been wishing me for my role as Rehana and calling me by that name whenever they meet me. I believe my director will be awarded here for his film. I also believe that he will one day become the president of this film festival. 

He is very talented and extraordinarily honest. One day he will also win the Oscar. I have never seen any director like him who has no greed for fame. He is always very confident about his art. 

You have probably noticed his reluctance to talk with the media before the film is finished. He has not even given any interview in any Bangladeshi media. 

I am a very pro-media person. But he told me to not talk about the film in the media before it is screened.

Saad also leads a very simple lifestyle and does not pay any attention to what he is wearing. The dresses that he has worn here are bought from ordinary shops. 

When I told him that everyone here is wearing dresses from famous brands, he replied to me, "You have not come here to represent any brand, you have come here to represent your country with your work. You yourself is the brand here."

However, he is a very peculiar person. He never gets confused. But sometimes he gets anxious and nervous when communicating with people. He is very introverted and has social anxiety. He does not get a lot of attention either.

Many people misunderstand him for this because they think he is very arrogant. But it is not like that. 

One of his main strengths is his confidence. You know I am a very tough person to handle. I have so many personal problems and also suffer from depression. 

During shooting, I asked him out of frustration why he had chosen me. I will not work in this film. But he always said that if you cannot do the character, no one will.

I never knew I would portray the character with such expressions because I never had a chance to be involved in a film like this. 

Actors or actresses cannot do everything alone. There is nothing like a good actor or good actress. The character and director must be good. 

So, the director's role is very vital here. I think I have achieved this by the struggles in my life. If I had not suffered a great deal in my life, I think it would not be possible for me to portray a character like Rehana. 

So far, our film has been screened three times in the Cannes. We were present at one show. But to be honest I have no't watched the entire film yet. 

Because it would be very painful. There are some scenes in the film which were very stressful for us, especially me. 

It would take two or three days to recover from the trauma of that stress. I still feel suffocated when I am reminded of those scenes. 

That is why Saad told me to watch the film during the world premiere.

When I was present during the first show at the Cannes, I felt that I was breathing with the rhythm of Rehana's breathing. 

I realized everyone around me was noticing this. This made the situation more painful for me. I was crying because the last scene was horrible and it resonates with some of the horrific events of my life. 

When everyone stood up to honour the film after the show, I was still crying. But later, a sense of joy was also mixed with my crying because I thought of it as a great honour for my country for being able to be represented here by our film.  

At the beginning of the festival, everyone here treated us like everyone else. But things changed after the first screening. 

When we walked through the red carpet, we were already popular because everyone was calling us by our names. 

It was a very different experience. We were really honoured because we were recognized for our work.

There is another thing that has pleased me. Many people are also talking about my style and dresses, especially in Bangladesh and India. 

They appreciated my saree very much. I am grateful to Aarong for this. Because the designer of Aarong - Dhrupadi apa, and head of the organization Tamara Abed, suggested me the saree.

I immediately accepted their suggestion. I am very confident about wearing saree. The idea of their blouse was also very interesting. I also chose Muslin fabric because it is our heritage and my designer also inspired me to wear a muslin blouse. 

All the dresses that I have worn here are designed by Bangladeshi designers. 

However, my hair and makeup has been done by me. I have some skills in these areas. 

Here in France, only our tickets are sponsored. All other expenses such as food have been paid by us. 

The living cost here is very expensive. The French authorities here paid for the accommodation when we stayed at Marriott. 

The transportation cost to and from our hotel to the venue is around Tk2,400 per person per day. So, it would cost a lot if I had to hire someone for my makeup and hairstyle. 

That is why I am doing it myself despite all the rush of doing other things.

The experience that I have gathered in France is the most precious experience of my life. I can definitely say that this is the best time in my life. 

From now on I will try to live my life as my own and enjoy every moment of it.