The Rumana Monzur story: From domestic abuse survivor to legal pioneer

On Tuesday evening (23 April) in Vancouver, Bangladeshi-Canadian Rumana Monzur will step into the Robert H Lee Alumni Centre at the University of British Columbia (UBC). It's reasonable to imagine a very excited Rumana, joining perhaps a similarly excited Canadian economist and author Denise Chong. After all, it is their book launch event, fruition of labour which began in 2016.  

"The pandemic changed the book industry [accounting for some of the delays] and there were other setbacks," Rumana recently said on a call, "It [the book titled Out of Darkness] is basically my biography, Denise [Chong] is the writer." 

Rumana, born and raised in Dhaka, excelled in academia from early on. She currently holds two master's degrees and a law degree (this she earned as a valedictorian). She works as an advocate at the National Litigation Centre in the British Columbia Regional Office under the Ministry of Justice, Canada. 

And she is the first blind lawyer to do so.  

"So when the discourse is on equity, diversity and inclusion, I have so many perspectives and lived experiences," Rumana explained why she is also a motivational speaker, "This is completely separate from my job [where she spends most of her days in court], it's more like my passion."

Her speaking engagements are not only confined to life as a blind person though. Lawyer and motivational speaker (TedX speaker in 2015) Rumana was not born blind. Rather she lost her eyesight to intimate partner violence, more commonly known as domestic violence in Bangladesh. 

You may recall news headlines in 2011 on Rumana Monzur's near-death experience at the hands of her then-husband. The shockwaves, which swept through the country, did not only stem from the bludgeoned details of Rumana's physical condition, but also her identity as an assistant professor at Dhaka University — raising questions and perhaps awareness on how domestic violence remains prevalent in the country defying family backgrounds.    

Rumana got married to Hasan Sayeed Sumon in 2000. "I have so many people ask me [after 2011], why did you stay in the marriage for all those years, when you were financially independent," recounted Rumana, "but I stayed because of the fear, I would tell them. How will my daughter or I will be judged."

The stigma (or fear of the stigma) of domestic violence and divorce in our society, she meant, is part of the book Out of Darkness: Rumana Monzur's Journey through Betrayal, Tyranny and Abuse. It chronicles Rumana's story of surviving an abusive marriage and the battles fought and won after 2011 to rebuild a life. 

During our phone interview earlier this month, a window in Rumana's busier schedule with an upcoming book launch on the horizon, she spoke about her life and the purpose behind the book.

Life before 

"I have had the fondest childhood. I grew up amongst many family members [siblings of Rumana's retired army officer father – oldest of four – lived close by]. My cousins are like my siblings," recalled Rumana. 

One of Rumana's ambitions was to become a pilot "but as you know, these things change as we grow up," she said, whose interests also dabbled in art and architecture. 

Rumana enrolled for an undergraduate degree in International Relations at Dhaka University, "private universities were not an option. Too expensive."

And a fateful marriage proposal was on the horizon. "Sumon's [Rumana's ex-husband] father and mine were close friends from their university days living as bachelors. The families remained in close touch" she said. 

However, it was not until later that Rumana met her to-be-husband. Sumon was away at cadet college "when we visited their home in Chattogram [from Dhaka]," she recalled. But Sumon, and later his family, moved to Dhaka. He enrolled in BUET as a mechanical engineering student.

When the marriage proposal came to Rumana's family, "I was asked for my opinion. I said yes," she remembered and added, "[but] I had no way of knowing. He was so charming. He took so much interest in my life," she said, who remembers the courtship period to be short and brief. 

They got married in 2000. The abuse started on Day 1, according to Rumana, but she stayed in the marriage. 

In 2004, she went on to earn her first master's degree from Dhaka University in International Relations. Later in the same year, she started working as an assistant professor in the same department. In late 2010, Rumana went to UBC for an 8-month master's programme, leaving her daughter with her mother. 

"To earn a PhD degree, I needed to first complete a master's degree there," she said, who was working on rising sea levels for her thesis. "And Bangladesh was my case study."

In 2011, she came to Bangladesh for her primary field research. "I was working on Sundarbans." This is the time she also told her then-husband that she wanted a divorce. "It was important for me to finalise the legal matters in order to gain full custody of my daughter and bring her [to Vancouver] with me," explained Rumana.    

On 5 June 2011, Rumana was savagely beaten by her then-husband. One of the witnesses was their only daughter, five years old at the time. 

"Eyes gouged out, nose partially bitten off" are some of the descriptions from local media reports in 2011. Domestic help came to Rumana's rescue when they could make it inside the locked bedroom.

Rumana was 33 years old at the time. 

Life after

"The first six months after coming back here [Vancouver], I could not do anything but focus on my treatment. Once it was understood that I would not regain my eyesight at all, I started thinking about what and how to move forward," she said. 

Rumana's focus was rooted in her daughter, "and with parents nearing retirement age," she recounted, Rumana had to pave a new road. "I decided to go back to school [UBC] because it is my comfort zone."

She learned to live life again. "I had no skill. I did not know how to operate a computer [as a blind person]. I had to unlearn everything I knew and relearn everything," she said. 

This is also when she switched gears. She gave up on her pursuit of a PhD degree because it would narrow her focus. "I realised I might not enjoy teaching as much any more like the way I used to," so instead she finished the coursework to earn a master's degree in political science. Rumana changed her research methodology for her master's thesis from primary to secondary. 

She decided to pursue a law degree at UBC. "I started my prep to sit for LSAT [law school admission test] around the same time I was completing my [second] master's degree. And chose UBC because it had done so much for me [in terms of support through her ordeal]."

What followed the 5 June incident inspired Rumana to pursue law. "Right after this incident, when I encountered the legal system, I really wanted to represent myself," explained Rumana.   

From the "nasty things people said about me" to "photoshopped photos" floating on social media, Rumana faced a barrage of character assassination allegations. 

"It was almost like they were justifying his [the then-husband's] actions. And even if I was the worst person in the world, I wanted the divorce and I told him that. [And] no one has the right to injure another person in this way."

It was from this deep-seated desire to represent herself, to make her voice heard, that Rumana eventually decided to pursue a law degree.  

Sumon was arrested on charges of attempted murder in June 2011. On 5 December the same year, Sumon was found dead in his prison cell. His death was reported as a case of suicide. 

According to Ain O Salish Kendra (ASK) statistics, an average of over 200 women across the country are murdered by their husbands per year. 

The pandemic year (2020) saw a record-high 240 women killed at the hands of their husbands in Bangladesh. In 2024, between January and March, 40 women were killed by their husbands in the country, according to ASK's digitised records. 

Why a book?

Rumana's answer is two-fold.

"I wanted to tell my story because I feel as though my daughter was too young to remember when it happened. I want her to know her mother's struggle," she said. 

Years ago, when Rumana decided to pursue a biography it was a friend of hers who connected her to an agency. In turn, the agency introduced Rumana to Denise Chong. "She visited Bangladesh. I think she was there for about one month. She met and spoke to people [for the book] and wrote it in Bangladesh's context. There had been cases when some did not respond," said Rumana. 

There is another reason. It is for the women out there. "It's like a textbook case of intimate partner violence. Many young girls and those in marriages do not even know what abuse is or the effect it has on them. It is very important to know this. 

If at least one woman reads this book and it helps her, and that they don't end up like me, I will consider my effort worth the while because this was not easy to do."

Rumana had to relive the trauma of an 11-year-old abusive marriage, a near-death experience which captured the nation's imagination and the loss of her eyesight — all over again in telling this story. And she had to do it in detail. 

Looking back, there seem to be reasons to celebrate accomplishments in terms of academic excellence, breaking barriers as a blind person, rebuilding a life and now a biography published by Penguin Random House. So what is next on the agenda?

This is the only time Rumana would break out into a chuckle during our 60-minute conversation. She sounded happy. "I don't know really. But if the book does well, I would really like to get it translated into Bangla for the audience I want to reach," she said. 

Rumana also hinted at visiting Bangladesh after all these years. "I am interested in working at the grassroots level and serving my country in future," she said, "let's see."

What do you have to say to domestic violence victims? 

"If a partner does not respect you, it is not a good relationship. It [domestic violence] is not a shame for the victims, it is a matter of shame for the perpetrator," she said, amplifying why we must speak about this kind of violence. 

"There are actually really good laws pertaining to domestic violence in Bangladesh," added Rumana, "but they only remain on paper because women do not apply them. Because of the 'pressure' from society on the women to sustain the marriage. This absolutely has to change."

Additionally, "those who stay in abusive relationships because of their children [fearing stigma] need to know that children experiencing domestic violence [perpetrated between parents] are never happy," she said. Rumana reiterated how although it is a difficult process women should be encouraged to take the road less travelled out of abusive marriages.

Out of Darkness: Rumana Monzur's Journey through Betrayal, Tyranny and Abuse is available on Amazon at $18.